Congratulations! You just one-upped Lovecraft! Now he's going to have to be brought back from his essential salts in order to catch up.

I've played Zork before. Also, Adventure, Beneath The Steel Sky and some others. I think I finished maybe one of them.

I know I guy named Quint. He gave me this message to tell you all:

"I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing." (c) Steven Spielberg

I don't know who the Spielberg guy is though.

I'm gonna say it, "I'm pro-Giant Hogweed plant!"

Good. Get in with them while you have the chance! Perhaps you can be a pet.

I, for one, will not stand idly by and wait as the star-spawned menace encroaches closer to my beloved Massachusetts. I must contact Miskatonic University immediately. Perhaps an expedition to the wilds of New York is the answer. I hate to do it, but I'll need to break Danforth out of the hospital for this one. Hmm... It's sap causes third-degree burns... Perhaps Willet could use this to burn those bodies... Hmm... I'll speak to him later about it.

I must go now. Those of you brave enough to follow me are welcome.

They need an east-coast version of Comicon. Preferably in Boston.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human body to correctly manipulate all its components. We live on a flaccid island of impotence in the midst of black seas of sterility, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The senses, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto aroused us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the horny light into the peace and safety of a new celibate age.

That's awesome! I didn't know that this existed!

I'll make sure to live that long then, Bob.

You could always leave instructions on reviving yourself from essential salts for your descendants to find as a contingency plan.

After seeing this topic, I decided to make my face asymmetrical.



THE HORROR!

[The Fling on The Whore's Step]

H.P. Lovecraft and Randolph Carter present...

A Nyarlathotep production...

In association with Cthulhu Fhtagn Ventures...

*fade to black*

The Fling on The Whore's Step

Starring:

Ron Jermyn and Jenna Hazathoth

The Shadow Out Of Time

Great story involving time-travel, alien possession, a Cyclopean city, etc.

Well, I was just thinking that all of those adjectives describe women I have slept with. I'm not terribly proud of that...

Bob

To paraphrase Adrian Monk: "That made me LOL... out loud."

I clearly do not watch enough porn because I'm failing at this.

*gives y'all sketchy eyes*

Oh no! A....GIRL! *hides*

The Flaunter In The Dark
Nigh, A Lick O'Tip
The Horny Clergyman
Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family: Unrated Edition
Dirty Call of Cthulhu
Gaygon
The Fellow Over His Mouth
The Transsexual Juan Romero


what have I done....

29. ...you use words like "cyclopian", "antediluvian", "non-Euclidian", "gibbous", and "unnamable" in your normal vocabulary.

What? That's not normal?

Bob

I know! I happen to live in a non-Euclidean house next to an unnameable, Cyclopean thing that quivers its gelatinous appendages under the Gibbous moon! If that sentence isn't normal, then I don't know what normal is!

18. You keep the air conditioning on even in winter.
19. You hear a bee buzzing near your window and run screaming in terror.
20. You create and/or contribute to a list such as this.
21. You watch a PBS special on the pineal gland and are disappointed when nothing is purple.